Last night, my Dad appeared in my dream!
I can only recall one other time when he appeared since he died, but that appearance seemed scary. About twenty years ago, that dream featured my father as a silhouette of himself. I could not see his face or discern any of his features, but somehow I sensed him. Instead of welcoming him, I vividly remember kicking my right foot out toward him and yelling no. Immediately, he vanished.
When I woke up, I felt somewhat panicked and scared by what had just transpired. I could not explain why I sensed something wrong by his presence. But, the feeling persisted, even as I felt guilty for physically pushing him away. I desperately missed my father.
However, my father's appearance in my dream on Sunday, September 10, 2023, had a completely different affect upon me.
Within the sequence of the dream, I had tried calling my mom and dad earlier in the day, but they didn’t pick up the phone. When I returned to my room and flicked on the light switch, I found them there, hiding little gifts around my room, sort of like an Easter Egg Hunt.
My Dad looked healthy and alert; his face was not distorted from chemotherapy, radiation, or the surgeries. He looked like he had gained weight, contrary to the gaunt look of someone who had not been eating well during treatments. He looked strong and powerful. His eyes shined with alertness; they even had a hint of mischievousness.
Then, I glanced back to my Mom. She looked peaceful, joyful, and relaxed. I did not notice any hint of stress, concern, or tenseness. She did not seem to anticipate anything could be amiss with my father. Her face appeared youthful. Her smile enhanced her beauty.
Both of my parents seemed well in the fullness of the word; their minds, bodies, and souls completely enjoyed the moment without an encumbrance. Nothing weighed heavily on their minds. Nothing impeded their ability to purchase and hide gifts. Nothing exhausted them from completing a late-night excursion. They had all of their faculties intact and they had single-minded determination to complete their mission.
For anyone who has ever lived through the nightmare of battling cancer or enduring an intense personal issue, you understand how the atmosphere of life has a constant level of noise. The noise could be stress of a family's finances, a loved one's declining health, strained relationships, the endless cycle of doctor's appointments, the loss of hope from ineffective treatments, and the disappointment of missing typical milestones. The nightmare relentlessly and annoyingly hums.
As my focus returned to my parents, I did not detect any reminders of the nightmare. In fact, I realized the darkness had no negative impact upon any of us. We had nothing to fear.
The ironic part of this dream is when I ascertained that if I had not interrupted them, then I would not have known to seek out any gifts. In time, I would have discovered one. Then, I would have wondered who had stashed the item in such an obscure spot, and why!
The interruption brought awareness of what I needed to do: I had to seek out the gifts with expectation of finding them! Not just one gift, but many gifts! Not with trepidation or guilt, but with eagerness! I discerned that I no longer had to wait for the other shoe to drop, instead I had to expect goodness and receive gleefully.
This mindset alone was a gift from God! Furthermore, He allowed me to see my parents in a whole new light. I can hardly wait to see what else God has for me.
Let the hunt begin!
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